step out in the sunshine

Back in December, while I was on my first trip to Las Vegas, I was planning my second..and third..and fourth..
Part two was scheduled to be early July with some girls from Starbucks. We figured we would jet off as soon as the last girl turned 21. Yesterday we discussed how 'down' we both still were to go.
Last night I receive a text message from one of the girls I had gone with on my original trip, asking if I would be 'down' to go late June for an unreasonably cheap fare.

I wavered for a few minutes. Two weeks in a row? I'm crazy. I can't afford it. Not practical.

Then I took a step back and thought about it clearly.

I'm down.

you too.

I just ate a spoonful butterknife scoop?ful of raspberry jam in order to try to stifle a craving for sweets. Who needs to go grocery shopping and do a load of dishes?

moderate astigmatism.

When I was about thirteen, I noticed I couldn't see as well as I used to. 

I first noticed while I was writing an exam in the gym. Whenever I looked up from my paper, I had a serious problem focusing on anything more than ten feet away from me. 

I thought it must have been a combination of the florescent lighting, stress of my Social Studies exam I hadn't studied for very thoroughly, and the inordinate amount of 'Jolt' Cola I had consumed during 'Health Snack Break' (or whatever the School District had decided to eversocleverly re-name Recess as to subliminally coerce us into choosing more 'nutritionally conscious' snacks from the vending machines. They also later made the rational decision to cover the offending vending machines in black construction paper until Lunch Time; when our developing bodies would be much more able to process and properly digest refined sugar and saturated fat. My only qualm with this message - besides becoming unable to purchase my beloved Caramilk bars - was that a new, fresh piece of paper was used EVERY DAY to obstruct the demon junk food from our piggy eyes. So, really what SD34 was telling us underhandedly is that delayed gratification>environment and fiscal responsibility.)

I seemed to have been pleased with my self diagnostic abilities and stopped questioning my need for glasses.  Later that day I failed to recognize the "Men's" symbol on the upstairs restroom and walked in on my Woodworking Teacher using the facilities. Why was he in the student bathroom? Why did my grade suddenly jump 20% in his class?* These unanswered questions still haunt me sometimes while I lay awake in bed. That and the sordid amount of caffeine I consume on a daily basis. 

I began to accept that my eyesight was totally normal. As I began to drive, I noticed a distinct difference between my response time at recognizing signs and pedestrians and my mother's, but figured it was because I needed practice as a 'learning driver' and that she was overly paranoid. I had passed the 'eye test' given at the time of my L test at any rate. Did it help I could see the answer sheet? Maybe. 
 
As Highschool came and went; many exams in brightly lit, overly caffeinated environments came with it. Same thing. Focus too hard on paper, become unable to properly distinguish faces or depth beyond ten feet. Normal. 

It was only when I started to work at Starbucks after I turned 18 that I came to terms with the fact that I, indeed, probably needed glasses. My fellow baristas kindly let me know it is a problem when you are unable to distinguish between cuteCaramelFrappuccinoguy and oldcreepyGrandeAmericano man from ten feet away. Hawkward. 

Okay, okay. I need glasses. I agreed. 

But I should sign up for Starbucks benefits first. Why should I pay full price? Silly. 

Three years and countless incidences of failure to recognize family members or curves in the road later, I booked an eye test this last October. 

As I stood just outside the examination room in Costco,** massive eye-testing contraption perched on my face - I could see. I could see the glimmer of bulk Heinz three aisles down. I could easily spot my mother perusing the selection of Garth Glasses - fifteen feet away! 

I walked out the proper set of doors that afternoon with a newfound sense of self congratulatory pride. Look at me, mom! Look! MOUNTAINSARENTTHEYBEAUTIFUL! 

Glasses off. Blurry blue lumps in the distance. 

Glasses on. MOUNTAINSMOOMMOM.

 Glasses off. Mom? Mom? Where did you

Glasses on. Oh hi mom. 

Glassesonglassesoffglassesonglassessoff

I wore my glasses for about a week. 





*just kidding, mom. Please don't call the School Board. 

**it turns out that my 'moderate astigmatism could have been fixed at an earlier age if I had been diagnosed and wore corrective lenses throughout my early Highschool years. Oops. 

don't mess around.

I never learn.

Today marks another tally on the countless amounts of times I have fallen for my own tricks.

Take four AM shift.

Agree to go out the night prior.

Come home in the wee hours of the morning.

Sleep. Nap.

Wake up. Cry a little.

Go to work.

Ingest inordinate amounts of caffeine.

Make a fool of myself (but be miraculously efficient making drinks)

Become a Starbucks Zombie in the home stretch of the shift.

Return to bed.

Nap. Sleep forever.

my mother found my blog.

Hi mom.

yeah, and all of their peers.

I can't sleep.

I've been blogging alot lately. Looking back at my posting there seems to be no pattern. Except the pattern that I post many blogs in a short period of time every once in a while. Does that count? Is that a 'trend' in my blogging? I don't know. It's one thirty. I should be sleeping. I already said 'goodnight' to everyone I had been talking to over the Internet, and here I am again on my phone stirring up more trouble.

I wonder why I can't sleep. Is it because my brain is going a million miles a minute? It was a crazy day at work today. Alarms going off all day, 3 coffee travellers (boxes of coffee to-go) ordered in the midst of a line up to the door, a thug fight outside of the cafe, and not to mention my favourite scammer also made a guest appearance. Boy do I hate him. I was literally shaking with anger when he left. I think it double upsets me that he upsets me so much. Its an upset-circle. Most unfortunate. (Basically this guy abuses our very lenient 'Just Say Yes' policy all over the District - and now I hear, Langley) to get free product. I won't get into specifics because I value my job. That is also why I served him. Because I value my job.

But enough about him. More about me. Why am I awake!?

....oh. Nevermind.

I worked today. At Starbucks.

Let's play a game.

What did I do at work that would be keeping me awake now?

Gee.

Dangit. Dangit. Dangit.

Goodnight. I hope.

all of the lights.

I know, I know.

I have been blogging about it since the beginning of time my blog.

I need to travel.

I have been to Mexico, Hawaii, Texas, California and Las Vegas (and a few places in Canada); but I want need to go somewhere far away.

Perhaps I'm realy feeling it because so many young folk around me have left/are soon departing on their own grand adventures. My roommate is leaving for Peru in three days for three months, and another very good friend of mine will be flying off to Europe for two months in a week's time. (Luckily for me, both my boyfriend and bestfriend have returned
-albeit temporarily- from their respective far-away residences, or else I would most probably be spending much of my time locked in my room with the cat)

I'm pretty tired of waiting for 'my turn'. I realize I don't have to wait, I just have to do, but finding the right time with the right people and places is proving harder than I thought.

Then there is the financial issue. Oh yeah, money. That. As I work at Starbucks and live on my own, it's been understandably difficult to save money. (Visiting IKEA every two weeks really doesn't help either. Yes, mom.) In order to save money, I must make more - therefore I must promote to the next level (which I am currently working on.) Another catch, though, is that I can't just take off as soon as I've got the job. Doesn't work like that.

I guess my real problem is time! Oh time. Time is running out! Not really, but my youth is. (When I'm thirty I'll look back on this blog post and laugh and laugh.)

So. Time. Money. More time. Plan. Travel. Revel in freedom and youth in a foreign country.

Or I could just put it all on my credit card and 'live life young and fast'/'live hard young fast life'/'live fast don't die til later' or whatever it is.