Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I hope I don't drop my phone in the bath.

It sure seems like everything changes at once.
Isn't it funny how one moment can change everything?
Isn't it funny how one moment can break everthing?
How one decision, one chance, one word can flip your life around?
Speak now, act now, love now. - live now.
Don't forget yourself while you're reinventing yourself. We'll miss you.
You'll miss yourself, too.
My bath water is draining. I wish I could fix the plug.
Maybe I will bathe in my flooded laundry room instead.
Help me find the road you're on, just need directions hope.
Draw me a map that leads me back to you.
Because I'd much rather be somewhere with you.

Friday, September 24, 2010

check me off as I go:

- consolidate the funds aquired from selling old guitars. Buy super guitar.
- pack breakfast/lunch every day for a month. Calculate savings. Continue.
- complete destruction/clean room.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

for a smile they can share the night

Watching Glee is like eating popcorn. Its delicious, somewhat mindless and you don't really have to pay attention to what you're doing to finish it all in one sitting...and its SOOO GOOOD. I wish I could sing and/or dance. I mean, I can. Just...badly.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

sound for thought

Lying in the park on a beautiful day
Sunshine in the grass, and the children play
Siren's passing, fire engine red
Someone's house is burning down on a day like this

The evening comes and we're hanging out
On the front step and a car rolls by with the windows rolled down
And that war song is playing, "why can't we be friends?"
Someone is screaming and crying in the apartment upstairs

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
Somebody's going hungry and someone else is eating out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
Somebody's heart is broken and it becomes your favorite song

The way your mouth feels in your lovers kiss
Like a pretty bird on a breeze or water to a fish
A bomb blast brings a building crashing to the floor
You hear the laughter while the children play war

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school, another's dropping out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
On a soldier's last breath his baby's being born

Standing on a bridge, watch the water passing under me
It must've been much harder when there was no bridge just water
Now the world is small, remember how it used to be
With mountains and oceans and winters and rivers and stars

Watch the sky, the jet planes, so far out of my reach
Is there someone up there looking down on me?
Boy chase a bird, so close but every time
He'll never catch her, but he can't stop trying

Funny the way it is, if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school, another's dropping out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
On a soldier's last breath his baby's being born
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
Somebody's broken heart becomes your favorite song
Funny the way it is, if you think about it
A kid walks 10 miles to school, another's dropping out

Standing on a bridge, watch the water passing under me
It must've been much harder when there was no bridge just water
Now the world is small, remember how it used to be
With mountains and oceans and winters and rivers and stars

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

because I don't have post-its:

-live for the moment
-try your best
-clean your room
-don't try and exist solely on grilled cheese
-buy bulk
-resist the urge to forget

everybody wants some presto magic

Would you change anything in your life? The bad things, the sad things, that time your face turned so red you thought you might burst? I wouldn't. Every step, every minute in your life has made it into what it is now. Made you into who you are now. There are things you wish you didn't remember, couldn't remember, for the life of you. But remember these things changed you. I could quote enough relevant song lyrics here, but I'll leave you to think of your favourite ones yourself.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

flight risk

I think I can forgive summer for leaving if that means Pumpkin Spice is back in my life. Seriously, it tastes like autumn. I might have scared the customers in the cafe when I had my first sip yesterday. I yelled. That loud.

I've got a good feeling about fall this year. Maybe its because I've accomplished so much in the past few weeks, maybe its because I'm finally stepping out of my comfort zone with so many things. Maybe. I've gone and promised myself I'll have no more regrets. Time to be a big girl. But I can still be a little kid sometimes. Like jumping in leaf piles. Or finger painting.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

shiny floors.

I'm so much more productive when my house is clean; but I need to be productive to clean my house. Awful, awful.

nail by nail, board by board.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my past. I've somewhat self-diagnosed myself with a form of self-preserving unconcious repression of my own memories. Does that make sense? Basically, I think after attempting to 'forget' so many unpleasant things so very often, I've made it more difficult to store good memories. Perhaps. Maybe I really do just have the memory of a goldfish. But if I'm going to be a goldfish I want a sparkly castle and my own aquatic garden. But the seaweed is always greener
In somebody else's lake
You dream about going up there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the world around you
Right here on the ocean floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?

Under the sea
Under the sea
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to floatin'
Under the sea


Ariel was a silly girl. Just fifteen and she changes her flippin' fins for the first prince to walk her way. Bad fish.

I need to go to sleep.

I also need to see Beauty and the Beast this year at the Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage. Please.

Sleep.

Friday, July 2, 2010

mother knows best

sleep when you're dead
have no regrets
get out of this town
see the world
be yourself
eat the damn potatoes
and put the dishes in the dishwasher.

Friday, June 11, 2010

keep me where the light is.

I'm wondering now if I was a really bad person in a past life. Its coming to the point where I'm ready to go. Go =someplace different. Go = with someone different. I love my family, I love my friends, I love my house. I love my Bradner. I love my life, but I need to change it up, very soon, or I'll probably lose it (edit-my mind, not my life). I'm tired of being treated like a doormat, I'm tired of being unable to say anything in my defence for fear of retribution by (some of) the people that very closely share my life. I realize I've written many times about changing my life and making something more out of myself, and I'm working towards achieving that very quickly. I just don't know how to approach my current life with the prospect of its replacement.

Monday, May 31, 2010

I'll like you if:

- you can spell
- you have good manners
- you don't spit on the sidewalk
- you don't make fun of the way I say 'milk'

Thursday, May 27, 2010

there are no guarantees.

Here I am, four and a half hours before I'm supposed to be up for work. Four hours and forty five minutes if I really want to push it/look like a rat all day. I bought a shoe rack on Tuesday. Put it together in the dark. I'll make a fine husband one day. The prospect of having an IKEA in Abbotsford is both exciting and frightening. My house room would be so colourful and asymmetrical. My bank account would be too. Red and descending into more red.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

driving on.

Don't need no five star reservations
I've got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine
Don't need no concert in the city
I've got a stereo and the best of Patsy Cline
Ain't got no caviar no Dom Perignon
But as far as I can see, I've got everything I want

Cause I've got a roof over my head,
the woman I love laying in my bed
And it's alright, alright
I've got shoes under my feet
Forever in her eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright
And I've got all I need
And it's alright by me

Maybe later on we'll walk down to the river
Lay on a blanket and stare up at the moon
It may not be no French Riviera
But it's all the same to me as long as im with you

It may be a simple life, but that's okay
If you ask me baby, I think I've got it made

Cause I've got a roof over my head,
the woman I love laying in my bed
And it's alright, alright
I've got shoes under my feet
Forever in her eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright
And I've got all I need
And it's alright by me

It's alright by me, yeah yeah
When I lay down at night I thank the Lord above
For giving me everything I ever could dream of

Cause I've got a roof over my head,
the woman I love laying in my bed
And it's alright, alright, alright, alright
I've got shoes under my feet
Forever in her eyes staring back at me
And it's alright, alright, alright
And I've got all I need, yeah
I've got all I need
And it's alright by me
Oh yeah, it's alright by me

Monday, April 5, 2010

on a side note:

Baristas are people too. Real people with real feelings who you leave in a real bad mood when you're a dick. I get you know what you want, and you probably always get it - but that doesn't mean I'll give it to you for free when you tell me to. I understand you're in a hurry, please understand I'm doing my best. I can see you're averse to making small talk with me while your drink is being prepared - please see its my job to entertain you, but you can pretend to be on your Bluetooth if it makes you feel more important. Above all, a little eye contact and a thank-you can make more than a difference to the people who help get your day going on a good note, who will in turn, hopefully, make your day a little brighter. If not, I might slip you decaf tomorrow morning. Cheers.

all of your base belongs to us.

I'd like my own space. I have my own space now, technically, but its just a room. Practically speaking, I cannot afford my own space, due to the fact I would need to fill that space solely with Ikea. I would have eclectic coloured armchairs and exploded-floral-print throw pillows. I would drink exclusively out of martini glasses and display my teas on the counter organized by colour and variety. I would have blown-up prints of my favourite photos of my family, travels and friends. I would play Elton John and Oasis all day. I would have a record player. I would display my guitars on the wall. I'd play those guitars. I'd have to play those guitars to afford all this. I'll write a song about it. Idealisticly.

Monday, March 29, 2010

all my troubles on a burning pileeee

This torrential rain is really putting a damper dent in my head. Peanut butter and jam sandwiches can only last you for so long; as can half-assed attempts at changing things. I'd like to something drastic. Safe/drastic. Fun. LIKE A TRUCK. Or a vacation. Or a different occupation. Or an education. Or an instrument. My guitars been dusty for a while. I can't sing to save my life, but with a little practice and auto-tune maybe you'll see me soon. This week is looking up. I should get my ass in gear. Gears remind me of trucks, which I want, which I can't has, which makes me want to lie here and be sad about it/go shopping to ease my pain/be broke. It's really not working out. Its not you, it me...and this awful box-spring.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

dear diarrry: this sucks.

I want to be healthy, but I am too lazy to cook/prepare myself nutritious eats. Lack of energy from lack of nutrients leads to lack of making more (lacking in substance) foods. I'm perpetuating my own imminent, burger filled, delicious, sub-par-dramatic death. Someone make me a casserole.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Back

I'm happy to be home. I will never take clean socks or not sleeping on a 3-foot couch for granted again. Probably. I have re-established appreciation for my store and the partners in it. Don't get me wrong, I've always been proud of my store and how we work (it), but I missed my beautiful, clean, organized Mt. Lehman. I will not miss surviving off of Starbucks pastries. I will miss the Vancouver customers; the newly found regulars, my fellow borrowed partners and home-team, the coveted-Starbucks-pin-hunting-hyenas (for the last time, no, this is MINE, you have TWELVE), the Russian Olympic team (.......), and the very beautiful Venti Vanilla Coffee Misto boy (I think by the fourth time I asked him if he wanted foam he knew was just desperately trying to make conversation). I will not miss the two hour commute (or taking the wrong sky-train every second day...really, you'd think I'd learn) I will not miss the strange cup-markings and foreign drink-calling. I will miss the spirit and the faux patriotism. I will miss making friends with anyone and everyone you meet, from all around the world...or just Abbotsford. I will miss everyone being in a perpetual state of happiness because they WANTED to be there. I will miss Vancouver, but I'll be back.